Me? You want to know about me? Wow, that’s a first, and
I’m glad you asked. My name is Ryan Callicott. I am from a very rural town in
the fabulous Palmetto state of South Carolina (personally I think fabulous is a
bit of a stretch). I am currently 18, having just graduated from High School. I
live with my grandparents and 3 dogs. My parents separated when I was 5 years
old, and I know what you’re thinking, awwww, you poor thing. Don’t bother! I’m
living and breathing, at least I think! Woops better schedule a physical! But
then again combined with my White Coat Syndrome and numerous other emotional
issues, that’s a big negative! To give you a little more insight into my personal
life, I have always been a very quiet, shy person in the eye of the public(like
im some big celeb, I wish!). Through my, as it stands now, 13 years of
education I have single handedly succeeded in being the most quiet, and unknown
student in my graduating class of 2012!
I guess you could say this blog is not only a way of teaching other
people to successfully live as me, but to vent! From walking into my first day
of kindergarten and bursting into tears, to my very last gracefully placed step
off of the stage graduation night, my mouth has probably uttered a maximum of
100 words to my fellow classmates, teachers, and faculty members. Those words
that were uttered were required of me, and not words I wanted to say. If I have
not bored you to death by this point, and you’re still reading, you probably
are now thinking how on earth have you managed to go so unknown and unspoken.
Well the most truthful and dignified answer I can give to you is, I don’t know!
At some point I dropped back out of the spotlight and into the shadows. But It
is ok, and to this day I have no regret, so don’t cry for me Argentina! Even I
at this point am thinking how on earth can such an inexperienced, and
anti-social person write a “self help guide”/ blog, and that’s ok if that
thought enters your mind. Let me tell you though, all of that quiet time was
not spent alone in my head, or staring at the surface of a desk. It was spent
being visual, auditory, and of course watching multiple episodes of Designing Women every day, but I
digress! Paying special attention to the
actions and reactions of others, can provide great insight! NO! I’m not some
crazy stalker! Well, enough about my 13 years of being mute, for that is only a
small detail about myself. As I previously mentioned my parents got divorced
when I was 5, and of course that had to mean I would be burdened with step
parents. I know you’re thinking, O come on it couldn’t be that bad. Well in
fact my step father is not at all bad, and quite enjoyable as a matter a fact.
Before I continue let me say I am not Cinderella, nor have I ever personally
met “sister friend”, but when you sit your kids down in front of that movie,
and they see the “Evil Step Mother” you can assure them that she does exist! But
wait Ryan, Does she have a name? Well the simple answer to that question is
this: I have no intention of attaching her name to my blog in any way shape or
form. After all this blog is all about me! Having lived with her on and off for
about a year I can truly testify that she is the most arrogant, insecure,
egotistical, moronic, asinine, WHORE, ever to terrify the face of the earth!
Trust me when I say there are many more adjectives to describe her. Instead of
holding on to the anger at this moment I must move on because I have many other
likes and dislikes. If it weren’t for the magic of TV, I don’t know how I could
have gotten through a night of doggy diarrhea with the three precious pups I
live with, let alone13 years of school. So you could say that I love TV, and I
seriously don’t know how I ever managed to carry on with life before the invention
of the DVR. Some of my favorite TV shows would include: as you probably know by
now Designing Women, The Martha Stewart
show (Martha Stewart is my home girl, we have lunch on the weekends….but I
don’t think she knows it yet), What Not
to Wear(Stacy London the grey streak is workin!), Tabitha’s Salon Takeover(Tabby can we talk?...Lay off the black!,
give turquoise a try, but still love ya),
The Golden Girls (Betty White, Beatrice Arthur,
Rue McClanahan, and Estelle Getty thank you so much for being my friend
when I had nothing else to do!) and last but defiantly not least Desperate Housewives (Marc Cherry….Why?
Why did it end that way? You don’t “split up” the lane!…ok…not even you!). I
hope thus far you have learned at least a few things about me, had a few laughs
(I know I did), and found a new blog that caught your interest! And TRUST ME
when I say I will not be offended if my life does not interest you. I’m sure
yours wouldn’t interest me! Woops….Did I say that? I also feel compelled to add
that humor is a huge part of my life, so If my readers are not laughing, then I’m
failing! So your comments are valued, and will be replied to!
